Today I wore one of my smallest t-shirts (which now fits me perfectly) and my largest pair of jeans. I had to wear the latter with suspenders and resembled a clown a bit. I can easily hold my fists on their respective hips within the pants. It's a fun feeling, even though belts and suspenders are frustrating when I want to dress for the office. I've got some important meetings and business trips later this month, and I know that I should get some new clothes that fit well, but I'm hesitant because I don't know what will fit me then. I guess I'm going shopping the weekend before!
Despite the impression that I may have given over the years, I like clothes and have a sense of style. I also don't want my clothing to be too tight or show what I would prefer to hide, which, when added to comfort, doesn't give me a lot of options. There's also the matter of self-confidence. When I don't feel good about myself, I not only dress with less care, but I look worse wearing it. Between a great new job and the surgery's effects, I'm feeling better about myself. It's not a cure-all for every neurosis, bad mood, or day in the dumps, but the days are so much more positive when I'm moving forward.
I'm still just beginning the journey, and my attitudes about my weight will vacillate along the way - people of all sizes feel fat and disgusting at times. I also know that the build underneath all of this will never be a size 6 or particularly dainty - that would be unhealthy and disproportionate. However, this surgery also won't take me to my ideal weight and won't make me fit and toned - for that I will need to exercise.
In the warm summer months, and even now in the autumn, I've enjoyed my walks along the harbor and around the neighborhoods where I live and work. As the New England winter approaches and my endurance (hopefully) increases, I will need an indoor solution. This has me thinking about a gym, so I've started investigating. I love to swim, but also want to learn more about other type of exercise, including weight training. The YMCA is a more affordable option than many gyms around here, and there is a location along my route home, as well as one within moderate walking-distance from my home. The one closer to work even has a pool! That's almost unheard-of downtown.
The one near work has more group exercise classes that interest me, as well, and longer hours, so that will probably be the one that I join. It will be nice to know, on the other hand, that the location nearer to home is about a 15-minute walk away (at least, according to Google). This is probably a bad month to start, schedule-wise, but procrastinating won't do me any favors. If nothing else, I will try to walk to the neighborhood Y at least once before my next post. If you have any other ideas for fitness, that don't require me to purchase any equipment, let me know!
